Marriage Equality: Why should we care?

Especially living in Washington DC, a city with one of the strongest domestic partnership laws in the nation, where gay and lesbian couples are afforded nearly all the rights and responsibilities of married straight couples, many people ask me, "why should we care about marriage equality?" I agree that it seems like a valid question, when there are so many pressing issues within the gay community such as employment discrimination, don't ask don't tell, hate crimes, and HIV/AIDs. This may sound trite, but growing up relatively comfortable, in a sometimes sheltered east-coast environment, I never experienced the sting of feeling like I was anything less than equal within the community. While I struggled with my sexuality, my parents and friends accepted me completely, and I was never on the wrong end of discrimination or hatred. 

The first time I questioned whether or not I was an equal member of society was at the passage of prop 8 in California. Like so many others, this was the ultimate wake up call for me, that burst the bubble in which I had grown up and made me realize how very far this nation has to go in terms of true equality. There is no question that our society teaches us from a very young age that the American dream and ideal is to work hard, go to college, find a job, get married, have children, buy a house, etc., etc. After the passage of prop 8 I realized that a huge portion of that dream doesn't apply to me; that no matter how hard I try, no matter how close I come, I'll never be able to meet this quintessentially American goal. To me, this was a sad reality, because it cemented the fact that the GLBT community is not treated to the model of equal justice under law. To me, this is the most blatant denial of basic rights that exists in our country today.

The denial of marriage equality is an admission of so much of society's bigotry toward the GLBT community. The simple fact that marriage equality is regarded by so many as extending "special rights" to the GLBT community means that society still believes that homosexuality is a choice. Parts of society still believe in the connection of homosexuality to pedophilia, drugs, promiscuity, HIV/AIDs, and as such has recently denied a whole host of rights in conjunction with the dream of the GLBT community to get married and raise a family just like everybody else.

The fact of the matter is, the inability for the GLBT community to marry is a denial of its attempt to further assimilate into society and to shed many of the stereotypes of the past. Marriage is an institution that can legitimize so many loving couples under the law and give them the strength to last lifetimes. It is a fundamental right.